No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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