She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
