I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i need some magic done to my vagina
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
