just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
