His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
