Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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