i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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