He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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