IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We are all done wearing pants today
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
