She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
