fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
