Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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