I wannas sexs uuuuu
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
