if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
50% drunk capacity currently
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
