Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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