'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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