bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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