Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
