and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
