In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
