if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
