my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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