I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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