Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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