Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
