Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
