She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Im part way to drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
