with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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