yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
