That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
