Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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