Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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