You can't motorboat a personality
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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