No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
