but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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