you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
