Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
