ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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