I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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