I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
