you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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