I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
