I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize