life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
