hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
