this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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