Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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