Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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