hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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