The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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